Shishur Sevay

K learns numbers on the steps

This is TOO TOO funny!  When the girls came in 2007, I tried many ways to introduce math concepts.  One was to number the steps so they could easily understand one more and one less.  The girls and the teachers thought I was nuts, and no one would use it for understanding numbers.  But apparently it did leave an impression.

Last evening one of the girls asked, “Mummy, remember the numbers you put on the steps?  Could we do that for K?”  And so they did, and taught her the numbers, and up and down.  They love teaching her.  They have infinite patience and never scold her.  They delight in every achievement.  They also delight in seeing her with me.  There has always been some tension around Ganga’s attachment to me, and mine to her.  So somehow seeing K with me, knowing how hard I worked to get her and her contentment on my lap is really important for all of them.  I guess also she is allowed to attach to me the ways they are all hesitant.  Each morning they make sure she says hello, good morning Mummy, and before bed she is brought to tell me good night.    They want her to be what they have had trouble being, and to learn what they have had trouble learning.  It is beautiful to be in this process, to see how they will be as mothers, different from how that would have been without Shishur Sevay.

Ganga is accepting her role as big sister who has to share Mummy more.  Her difficulties with K are the moments when she realizes K’s ability to walk, eat on her own, say her name, hold the pencil…. Ganga gets sad,  but she will be fine too.  A new child is a new adjustment for everyone, including me.

I continue to work with Aunty to get the children transferred out of her home and into more appropriate places.  And I ponder a lot, who will care for the children, particularly the orphans who can’t even walk or talk or feed themselves, or reach out for human contact?  A long succession of people contributed to these children being as they are.  First is the woman who gave birth, then whoever decided to give up the child, then the people who had the children for years who didn’t feed them or rehabilitate them. The adoption agency that could not “place” them.  Then there is the government that had to be involved along the way, assigning the children to one facility or another, licensing the places these children have been.  How do you get a five-year old who is 7kg?  It’s called starvation.  It isn’t an accident, but rather a series of policies and individual decisions along the way that this human being was not worth feeding.  

I googled the quote about a society being judged by its care of the weakest….  and it doesn’t really trace back to one source, but rather a general statement of the “should” of caring for the weakest, lest the nation or society be judged badly.  I wondered why it was an issue of judgement, rather than of moral imperative, so I googled moral imperative.  I seem to have been gifted with a good dose of moral imperative that drives me.  But then I thought about society where there is NO moral imperative.  So then I moved to “Rights” as how we have to address these issues because then it doesn’t matter whether people care or not, they have to enforce rights….. Well, that is my thinking journey this afternoon.  Aunty came by and I typed and printed the letters she needed to try to get the government to relieve her of the violent boys she cannot manage.  

It’s REALLY a mess here!  I think I’ll go count steps with K.

Mummy's lap is always a safe place

Today we met with the government committee charged with placing children and they have officially transferred K to Shishur Sevay.  K has been opening up, throwing and catching a ball, laughing, even walking from room to room on her own.  But this morning she was tearful and all day she was stoic.  She threw up in the car three times going there, none coming back.  She said nothing, but her eyes teared up again and again.  Home tonight she is laughing again, and playing peek-a-boo with me.  Last night the big girls were playing at chasing her and she came running to me and climbed onto my lap.

Today I also spoke with the government committee about Aunty’s home, and the eight children in the hospital.  The hospital wanted to discharge them and I’ve convinced everyone that they must be sent elsewhere, not back to Aunty’s home.  Aunty is grateful.  This committee is new and the women there are VERY nice.  Nothing bad happened!  I was there earlier in the week just to discuss K, and they were NICE then too.  After that I went to the hospital to see the eight children and they were NICE there too.  Then on the way home we stopped for ice cream and I returned a damaged DVD and the man was NICE there too!

I thought maybe the whole thing was some mal-alignment of the stars and planets over Kolkata, but today these committee people were NICE again.  And it’s not the stars because later in the day we met with a government official at Aunty’s who was NOT NICE and clearly has no interest in the condition of the kids.

I’m exhausted, and need to sleep but I really wanted to share our good news.

Oh, and yesterday I pressed and pressed the girls over a spelling test and they were eventually able to get at least 90%, some even 100%.  I was jumping up and down saying I knew they could do it, and that’s why it’s been so hard because no teacher ever thought ORPHANS could get so many spelling words right, or answers to any questions right.  The girls were grinning as I reminded them of ALL the teachers who said 50% was good enough and that they couldn’t do better.  I have girls who can’t do well and I don’t pressure them at all.  But some are really smart but they have been spoiled (a really appropriate word as this is so bad for them) by teachers setting the bar very low.

OK, got to get some sleep.  I’m smiling as I write this so I hope you are too.