K is Ours

06 Jan 2012 2 Comments

by Dr. Michelle Harrison in Uncategorized

Mummy's lap is always a safe place

Today we met with the government committee charged with placing children and they have officially transferred K to Shishur Sevay.  K has been opening up, throwing and catching a ball, laughing, even walking from room to room on her own.  But this morning she was tearful and all day she was stoic.  She threw up in the car three times going there, none coming back.  She said nothing, but her eyes teared up again and again.  Home tonight she is laughing again, and playing peek-a-boo with me.  Last night the big girls were playing at chasing her and she came running to me and climbed onto my lap.

Today I also spoke with the government committee about Aunty’s home, and the eight children in the hospital.  The hospital wanted to discharge them and I’ve convinced everyone that they must be sent elsewhere, not back to Aunty’s home.  Aunty is grateful.  This committee is new and the women there are VERY nice.  Nothing bad happened!  I was there earlier in the week just to discuss K, and they were NICE then too.  After that I went to the hospital to see the eight children and they were NICE there too.  Then on the way home we stopped for ice cream and I returned a damaged DVD and the man was NICE there too!

I thought maybe the whole thing was some mal-alignment of the stars and planets over Kolkata, but today these committee people were NICE again.  And it’s not the stars because later in the day we met with a government official at Aunty’s who was NOT NICE and clearly has no interest in the condition of the kids.

I’m exhausted, and need to sleep but I really wanted to share our good news.

Oh, and yesterday I pressed and pressed the girls over a spelling test and they were eventually able to get at least 90%, some even 100%.  I was jumping up and down saying I knew they could do it, and that’s why it’s been so hard because no teacher ever thought ORPHANS could get so many spelling words right, or answers to any questions right.  The girls were grinning as I reminded them of ALL the teachers who said 50% was good enough and that they couldn’t do better.  I have girls who can’t do well and I don’t pressure them at all.  But some are really smart but they have been spoiled (a really appropriate word as this is so bad for them) by teachers setting the bar very low.

OK, got to get some sleep.  I’m smiling as I write this so I hope you are too.

K’s Progress

30 Dec 2011 1 Comment

by Dr. Michelle Harrison in Uncategorized

K is a serious learner

The big girls started K’s lessons on 26th December. Apparently they were willing to give her the day off for Christmas.  It is really funny to see these girls who fought education, now working so earnestly with K. ;Some are still not sure they deserve anything good in life, but they see only potential in her. 

 

Lunchtime at Shishur Sevay.  Ganga now joins the older girls for lunch.  Her new chair allows her to be at the table, where she is socially part of the group.  Now K is there too.  K is very quiet, probably afraid to say much. 

Lunch time at Shishur Sevay

 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 

K with Ganga on Computer.

 
But in lessons, especially with Ganga, she carries on conversations with the teacher, and tells Ganga what to do if she is being naughty.  But here K is distracted because someone just gave her a potato chip.  Ganga moves the pointer with her trackball, and then either she clicks her switch or K clicks mouse.  They like working together.
 
Meanwhile back at Aunty’s another child has been hospitalized.  Two more will go tomorrow.  But here is the problem.  The children are going into the government hospital.  The bed and saline injections, and meals are free.  Lab tests are Rs. 10 each for simple tests but other tests have to be done by an outside lab, so patients have to pay.  All medicines must be paid for in advance, or more usually the family runs out to a pharmacy and buys the medicine and brings it back to the hospital.  Children will only be admitted if there is someone to care for them.  Usually a relative stays.  As these are orphan children, Aunty doesn’t have people to stay, so she has engaged hospital attendants.  Their cost is Rs. 260 a day to care for two children (max allowed).    That’s about Rs. 4000 per month just for an attendant.  Theoretically the government gives her Rs. 2000 a month.  This is part of why children are abandoned in hospitals.  Hopefully the two who are scheduled for admission tomorrow will go to a hospital close to Shishur Sevay so I can follow them.  It’s still all  up in the air.
 
I have a particular interest in the costs for these particular children at Aunty’s Home.  Several of the most impaired are children from adoption orphanages.  The healthy infants and children bring a lot of funds to the organizations.  They claim to use those funds for the children who cannot be adopted, but they don’t.  So some of these are children kept around for a few years by the adoption orphanages and then “relinquished” to the government really too late for meaningful rehabilitation.  These are NOT cases of poverty.  Three of Aunty’s children, ones I scrubbed and shaved and de-loused last week were from agencies I know.  These are children maybe 4-7 years old who look like toddlers, who weigh around 10kg, who have contractures…..
 
When International Mission of Hope closed around 2003, the orphanage my daughter came from in 1984, the children with disabilities, those who could not be easily adopted, were sent to a newly established Charity, with promises that they would be supported by IMH.  Money was even raised from donations abroad, but the money did not reach the foundation in Kolkata.  I was in the middle of those battles over money.  None of what I say is second hand.  In January 2004 I visited an orphanage where two of Aunty’s children were.  That’s eight years ago, in January in the midst of a cold spell.  The director talked “economics” of adoption with me.  I most remember that the nursery was cold, that the babies were on bare plastic sheets, and that the “blankets” were too small to cover the babies.
 
Why is Aunty taking care of them?  Where did the money go?  At this end, no one cares.  I had a visit from a social worker with another agency.  She wanted to place their unadoptable children with me.  They were always looking for places.  They “sponsored” the children for about what the government paid.  The social worker was impressed with our facilities, especially what we do for our children with disabilities.  She said wistfully, “I wish we could have something like this!”  I asked why not, and she said they had no money.  Anyone knowing anything about international adoption knows that tens of thousands of dollars are involved, surely enough to take care of these children.  But it’s not about the money.  That would be easy to fix.  It’s about the lack of will.    
 
 
 
 

The Little Girl I Didn’t Bring Home

29 Dec 2011 2 Comments

by Dr. Michelle Harrison in Future, Obstacles, Orphans, Outreach

 

The little girl I didn’t bring home

My goal is to help Aunty’s Home to be a better place, where Aunty can take care of the children who look to her for love, comfort, and food.   I sat there, holding this child a long time, talking to her (she doesn’t speak) and trying to define better my personal mission here as well as Shishur Sevay’s.

It came down to responsibilities, and cold decisions that are hard to openly admit.  Right now I do not have a second-in-command.  If I get sick, or die, Shishur Sevay will have to struggle through with some emergency plans we do have in place.  The place will continue, but the course may be rocky in terms of administration.  My goal for the last year was to identify who would do each of the things I do in the course of the day.  I’ve had two people I thought would last, potential administrators, but they did not work out.   So decisions I make today seriously affect the future of Shishur Sevay.  This child will never walk, talk, or be able to care for herself.  We have four children like that, truly our beloved choto bacchas (small children).  K, who I took on Christmas Eve, can walk, talk, feed herself, go to the toilet.  She will one day be independent. Second, Dr. Michelle Harrison, and Shishur Sevay cannot be an answer to the government’s refusal to take seriously the needs of orphans, especially those with multiple disabilities.  I am at Aunty’s orphanage helping because this IS my concern, the care of orphans.  What I can do is to give medical and health guidance to her home.  I’m not licensed in India so I walk a fine line.  (I do function as if someone is paying attention to such things, as I feel vulnerable).  Aunty has several children in the hospital, and this child as well as others will be going into the hospital for a period of evaluation.  As official medical advisor I will be following up with in-hospital visits, and discussions with doctors. Third, the girls at Shishur Sevay really do care about other orphans, about the poor, about those with disabilities.  I want them to learn how to care for these children.  It’s an opportunity for the girls who cannot, or will not study.  This work gives them meaning.  And, in my idealistic world of tomorrow, even my idealistic India, people will be needed who know the job, but even more, those who care.     The fundamental problem with Aunty’s home is that the government is almost one year in arrears.  Without pay, staff stops coming.  Without staff, the children with profound disabilities don’t eat.  Feeding them is very time-consuming.  At Shishur Sevay I have four people feeding four children.  Lunch is from 1-2:30 because it takes that long to feed them, put them on potty chairs, and bathe them.  Aunty has 1-2 people for seven children who cannot feed themselves.  Her older boys help out, but it takes training to feed these children so they don’t choke.  That’s what we have been doing the last three days, feeding and bathing.

Aunty loves these children.  Love is not enough, but neither is food enough.  The government has told her that money will be coming shortly.

All I Want For Christmas Is Another Little Girl

24 Dec 2011 2 Comments

by Dr. Michelle Harrison in Uncategorized

 
Christmas Eve 2011
 No, I was not really wishing for another child.  We were doing our community service today.  Two of the girls and a massi-childcare worker, and I went off to an orphanage run by a friend of mine, a woman who has become another Aunty to the girls.   Her dream is to be able to give her kids what we can give ours.  Her’s is a government sponsored home, which has resulted in her having more children than she can manage, while the government runs 10-11 months late in paying for the children.   What they do pay is not enough to maintain the children and she is expected to raise the remainder money.  Mine is the shoulder she leans on when it is very tough.  But right now, for the 30+ children in her care, she is the ONLY person in the world who cares. 
 
Kolkata is having a cold spell, one that is supposed to be the worst in 20 years.  I really should stop this babbling and defensive explanation.  The bottom line?  We brought home a little girl.  We were all taken by her, quiet, shy, and shivering.  She is with us for a visit until we can get the necessary approvals.  That’s really the only part that worries me, because I’ll have to deal with the government.  But, that’s my job. 
 
The two Shishur Sevay girls who went today will be going regularly.  The visit today really excited them in terms of their futures.  They want to go back.  They want to learn sign language to communicate with the children who do not hear.  They want to help Aunty take care of her children.  Over and over I see that the girls have so much to give, and that sometimes life is hard because you don’t feel like you are contributing.
 
We don’t yet know much about our new child.  She is about seven years old but looks more like 4.  She speaks in Bengali.  A plus is just that she speaks.  She has never been to school.  The girls asked, “Will you send her to Bengali medium or English?” I said, “English,” and they were thrilled.  We have come so far in this time.  It will be five years in February since they came.  I was sitting here writing, and looked out at all the girls, including our new one, and I thought to myself, “In five years you will be as difficult at they are!”  And then I smiled.  I’m feeling good.  We did the right thing.  I had a dream once, in the time I was thinking about forming Shishur Sevay.  In the dream I was sitting by a pond, thinking about Shishur Sevay and I wanted it to be “a place where a girl can bring her little sister.”  So here we are, a place of big sisters, little sisters, and some medium sisters too.  My life is really full of dreams come true.
 
 
Wishes of peace, happiness, and love to everyone in this celebratory spiritual, religious, secular, cosmic, and reflective time of year.
 
  

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