To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow

"To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury
Signifying nothing."

This is from Macbeth(Act 5, Scene 5, lines 17-28)

I have not written for a while… will bring matters up to date.  I'm sitting here with Chris Futia who has returned to help, and to enjoy the children.  We were speaking about getting things done, or not done, here in Kolkata and she spoke those words, "tomorrow…." and I googled the words and found Macbeth's soliloquy upon the death of his wife.  It is full of despair and my first thought was, "Well, he didn't have these children to love."  Those are always my thoughts — these children whom I love so much and want to protect so much.  They are my antidote to "… full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."


How are we all?  The children are wonderful.  They have been on school vacation, a big reason I had little opportunity to write.  I have greatly strengthened the teaching program at Shishur Sevay, while the girls also continue at the government school.  I have an extra teacher for homework now until 8:30 in the evening.  The basic schedule for the big girls is:

6:30 am to 10:30 am    Sahapur Sabitri Balika Vidyalaya — School


11 am to 1 pm:   English

2:30 to 4:30        Bengali

4:30 to 6:30        Math

5:30 to 8:30        Homework teacher

We break at 6:30 for evening prayers,

For our girls with disabilities:

6:30 am to 8:45     Sahapur Sabitri Balika Vidyalaya — School for Ganga and Bornali

8 am to 2 pm     Special educator at Shishur Sevay for classes for all four girls.

4 pm to 8 pm    Combination of cognitive education and physical therapy.

One afternoon a week a special workshop for children with cerebral palsy.

Speech therapy twice a week.

Massage six days a week in morning

Physiotherapy – formal, once a week

Special teachers seven days a week

Learning disabilities expert once a week for big girls, working on strengths and weaknesses so goals and expectations can be identified and measures.

Adaptive communication expert once a week.

Expert in language and communication once a month workshop and supervision once a week.

Dance has been cut to once a week, on Saturday evening, because the school work load is too heavy in the week.

Drawing class is once a week with a rising star local artist.


We have also hired a House Supervisor to take over many of the responsibilities I was carrying — of the hair ribbon, check cleaning, laundry, etc realm.  She hasn't yet mastered the digital washing machine so Bijoy and I still run the machine.  It's a grounding experience.


The crisis upon us is that I may have to be out of the country for a short while.  I don't even like to talk about it… but we will do what we have to as best as we can.  Chris is prepared to take charge.  I want to strengthen the back up as much as I can.  The girls are worried but OK.  The little ones will have a hard time… For Ganga I am the center of her universe.  And to be honest, she is pretty close to the center of mine.


A funny story but it tells something about life here, or my life with the girls.  A teacher came to me a few days ago and said that four girls had just announced they intended to be naughty in class.  Yes, this was odd… and she said she would have to come and tell me and they said fine.  As I walked up the stairs I really didn't know what I would do… I walked in the door and saw them sitting at their little desks, and then I turned away from them, to the wall and began to wail and wail!  "MY BACHHAS (my children) NAUGHTY!  MY BACHHAS NAUGHTY!"  I threw my hands up over my head wailing and wailing.  Then I paused momentarily and looked to see if they were watching and wailed again.  it's just what they do when they are crying for effect, check to see if anyone is watching….  Well, by then they were rolling on the floor with laughter.  It was fun… I told them I love them, even when they glare at me on the way to school, which they had done that morning.  (Of course they were amazed I'd noticed). Like I said, I often don't know how I'll deal with a situation until I get there….


It's sort of like my life, unfolding…. page at a time.  I'm always scared when the page turns that I will lose something, someone — but over my life the pages, the people, the spirit of love is stronger and stronger.


I love the page I'm on.  I love the life I have.  I love. 

I think I've included this before, but here is a poem:


Worse than unloved is

To be unable to love,

The stars will not sing,

The trees will not bud,

The moon will not smile,

The earth will not thaw,

The wheat will not grow,

The sails will not fill,

The mind will not think,

The heart will not feel,

The night will not end,

The cradle will fall.








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June 2009
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